Wednesday, January 12, 2005

 

A Hard Woman to Satisfy

I heard a friend of mine use this phrase to describe a woman he was involved with, for a relatively short period of time. This guy, is a player. I've known him for maybe 10 years or so. I have seen him go through one woman after another. None were good enough for him. He always seemed to find a reason to drop them. One was too controlling, another wasn't assertive enough, another was limp in bed, another brought her toothbrush over after the first time they slept together, another was too young, another was too old. I don't think it was the woman who was hard to satisfy, but him. He is a shallow person. It has taken me a while to figure this out. I am a guy, and I think like a guy, and that means I try to make it simple, a simple reason for everything. But, and this is a big BUT, women are not simple like us guys are. Women are deep, women have relationships us guys can never fathom. It all goes to back up my thoery that women and men are different species entirely. My greatest nightmare is that I will never understand women, no matter how hard I try. I want to understand women. I want to know women. I want relationships with women like they have with each other, but as a man, I am forever excluded from this exclusive club. When I was young, before my teens, I was a sickly child, and as a result spent a lot of time at home and I saw my mother interact with her friends during the day. I found I was comfortable in the kitchen listening to these women talk amongst themselves. She used the telephone a lot as well. This was a time before dial phones were installed in a rural part of Illinois and we were on a big party line. I was on the inside and it took me a while to figure it out, many years after the fact. But now, I HAVE figured out why I was so fascinated by my mother and her friends. They talked the truth about the men in their lives. My mother and father died many years ago, so I don't think I am breaking a confidence in telling you my mother loved to have sex with my father. There are 7 children to show this and had they known more about RH factors, there would have been 6 more of us in the family, two sets of twins even!. So, I think I am in a position to understand women a bit more than the average man out there, having had a mother who loved my father and who was not ashamed of having her sexual identity known. I am in my older years now, and I can fully appreciate how much my mother loved my father, finally. In the later years, it seemed to me that they argued a lot, and were not happy, but that was not the case. They were very much in love with each other and the arguments were just a facet of that love. I think my mother died because she lost my father and lost the focus, the love, of her life. I know, it appeared to be a cerebral hemmorage, but she became lonely after my father passed away. I do not know if this a valid reason, but I FEEL like it might be. This brings me to my life and my relationships. I have been married twice, and each time I thought it would be forever. It did not turn out that way, but that does not stop me from continuing the search to find the right woman for me. I was wrong before, though I did not know it at the time. Both of my marriages felt so RIGHT for me! Since my last marriage ended for a reason I do not know, I've been continuing the search, and have been unsuccessful, and then I hear a guy I know dumping a woman because she is not up to his grand expectations and then he has the gall to blame his failure on her. Guys I know are just so shallow in relationships. I try not to be those guys; I try to be something more than a typical shallow guy, but I seem to be running into women who expect me to be the shallow guy and nothing develops no matter how hard I try to make these women be aware that I am different, that I understand their feminine feeling about a relationship. Why can't I find a woman who can appreciate that I am a bit different and that maybe, I could have that deeper relationship that I seem to think women would like to have? Am I wrong in my thinking about women? Did my mother and her friends, talking as they did in the kitchen, steer me wrong in what women want in a relationship with a man? You tell me. What do women want, and how can I be that someone? Are women really that different from me as a man? Are women really an extraterrestial species as they seem to be to most of us men? Are men extraterrestrial beings different from women? Why then, do men and women connect to make babies and get together for other reasons, like simple companionship maybe? Tell me your thoughts, I REALLY want to KNOW the answer to these questions! (I have restored my mail server with a new web host, so the link on the left to email me should work again, but you can always get to me at "rvgetsla at yahoo dot..com" as an alternative if it isn't working.)

Posted by: Rowlfe - at: 1/12/2005 09:08:00 PM

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